Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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