What did we do last night that was yellow?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
