This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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