it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
