I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize