I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
