CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
