I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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