I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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