You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize