omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
