But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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