think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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