Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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