you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
