I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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