she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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