its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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