My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
