His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
