We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize