:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
