these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
