You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I need moral support for this bender
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
