Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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