WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
