You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
