Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
