hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
what day is it and did you see me today?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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