her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize