dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
