that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
