One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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