just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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