Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She bit a glass in half.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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