I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
50% drunk capacity currently
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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