i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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