it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
