thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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