Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
