We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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