Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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