SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
