How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
