So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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