I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
splinters make it hard to masturbate
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
