Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
