I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
