She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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