We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
