dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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