You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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