I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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