I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
