Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
