Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
