See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
