Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We're too hungover to prance.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
