Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
