Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
