I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
