Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
