we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
