ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
