I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
